Sunday, April 25, 2010

A Sunlit Day

I was going to title this post "Another Kick At The Can" because it is mostly going to be about me trying seriously (at least a little more seriously) this time to write on FJ's topic for me from last post on "The World Today".

If you look in the comments for that post you will see that he felt a little bit "cheated" by my efforts. In a way I can't blame him as his efforts in his take on my subject for him, "My First Girlfriend", were more direct.

Nevertheless, I want it known that he did not guilt me into taking this second kick at the can so to speak. I had it planned pretty much after I finished writing the previous post.

One thing I will say right off though is I pre-wrote the more light-hearted one quite quickly in my head and in short notes on paper before doing it on-line. This one is going to be much harder (which is why I originally had no plans to do it "seriously") and I may or may not be so successful.

But before I start let me (excitedly I might add) tell you why the title was changed to "A Sunlit Day". When I came here tonight (I am actually writing this at the "real" time that the time stamp says - lol), I found 2 new followers. One was one I "directed here", again from FB. Speaking of which, thanks Lucia.

Lucia, is a very busy and accomplished lady who is fluent in several languages. She is a Spanish woman who moved to Montreal and now has duel citizenship. She is so busy, because she is moving (and for many other reasons I'm sure), yet again, to Korea of all places for a job. Congratulations, good luck and thanks again, Lucia.

But back to the title change. The reason for that is the second person who I found out had unexpectedly joined my blog followers. This was a total surprise. I had left a comment on another blog I happened upon in poking around the blogosphere as I do occasionally (although not enough).

It was during this journey that I came across a young girl (only 15!) named Jessica, who lives in New York and writes a blog called A Sunlit Day. I decided to title this after her blog because I am so excited to have only my second follower who I did not relentlessly self-direct here and who took it upon herself to join.

Please check out her blog at http://a

Now back to the meat on the bone. What to write about "The World Today". My friend who can not be named suggested talking about the internet. Maybe because she thinks it is the only subject related to the world today that I actually might know something about as I regularly bore her with internet (ie. mostly blog) talk.

When she said this I decided (at the time anyway) to right about all the different social networks and other things (seemingly hundreds of them) that you can "link" (if that is the right word) content from other things to using something that I think is called Add It. It even has it's own toolbar!

However, since I know so little about it, other than it seems awfully cool, to me anyway (and more than a bit overwhelming) how many different things there are to use, I really don't know enough (anything really - lol) about it. Except that I joined (and haven't used or figured out what it's for either - lol) Stumble Upon.

Another possibility occurred just now as I was coming back from a brief bathroom break (TMI anybody - lol). As I shut my door on the way back in to my room I decided to look at the mini-calendar on the back of my door since it is so close to the end of the month. Checking out how much month is left.

Anyway, I noticed that today is actually a special day somewhere in the world. Australia and New Zealand to be precise. So with no further ado, allow me to introduce to you - ANZAC Day. And yes, it is all capitalized. Now to do a quick google search on what exactly ANZAC Day is. My guess being a day of national pride.


Well, I'm back. Google directed me to Wikipedia. A not so quick reading of the full article on ANZAC Day reveals that it is indeed for the most part considered a "day of national pride" as I had guessed. In fact it is the shared "Remembrance Day" of both Australia and New Zealand primarily and a few little island like places as well.

I think I have my topic. Especially since it is literally about the world today, as in today, April 25th.

Because I obviously just learned about ANZAC Day from Wikipedia I can't do it justice the way they did and don't intend to basically plagarize the entire article (which is quite long anyway). So I will just share some of the main things that I picked out of the article as signifigant (to me anyway).

I do encourage you all to look at the wikipedia article after you are done here. It is long but is fairly interesting.

What follows comes directly from Wikipedia. First of all, ANZAC stands for Australia and New Zealand Army Corps. The soldiers were known as Anzacs. ANZAC Day now "broadly commemorates" servicepeople from all conflicts that Australia and New Zealand have participated in.

Wikipedia calls it "a rare instance of two sovereign countries not only sharing the same Remembrance Day, but making reference to both countries in it's name". It is held on the same date every year as the landing in Gallipoli in Turkey during WWI.

There is criticism of Anzac Day by both Australians and New Zealanders. An early one was in 1960. It came with the publication of Alan Seymours "classic" play, The One Day A Year. It criticised as "a day of drunken debachery by soldiers" by its main character Hughie and should be "a day when questions of what it means to be loyal to a nation or Empire must be raised".

One Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, actually had the nerve (guts perhaps) to note that it should not be a day of "uncritical and self-serving embrace of the Anzac spirit".

"ANZAC Day has also been marked by protests against contemporary wars" like Vietnam and in recent years by feminists, etc. Feminists were protesting against male violence specifically against women in war and were not surprisingly but still I would say shamefully banned from marching.

Which in my mind goes to show that the sacrifices of war don't seem to teach the "hyper-patriotic" (my words) much about freedom of speech. Commemorating war-time sacrifice is highly important but shouldn't preclude the just as important assertion of freedom of speech which presumably was one of the more important things that is/was and always should be one of the few things worth fighting for.

"Other criticisms have revolved around a perceived overzealousness in Australian attachment to the event, at the expense of remembrance of the contribution of New Zealand ... In 2009 New Zealand historians noted that some Australian children were unaware that New Zealand was a part of Anzac". This seems bizarre considering that the first thing they probably should have been taught is what the acronym stands for!

ANZAC Day is observed with primarily dawn vigils/dawn services that used to be reserved for the servicepeople themselves with the general public coming to the later in the day marches but now family and young people are encouraged to come too.

The signifigance of the dawn timing of the services is that it "symbolically links" it to the dawn landing in Gallipoli and it is a "quiet, peaceful" time for the returned soldiers to "seek comradeship" with their fellow servicepeople.

The nadir of services was during the Vietnam War. The apogee is in recent times with many young people "embracing" it.

In a final piece of information on the holiday, one of the traditions of ANZAC Day is the "gunfire breakfast" (coffee with rum) "which happens shortly after many dawn ceremonies and recalls the breakfast of many soldiers before facing battle".

So, there you go, FJ, and any others perhaps looking for a different kind of post. Let me leave you with a last thought or two on what this post will hopefully cause the average reader to reflect upon.

Hopefully, we can all, whatever our nationality and beliefs remember to, well, remember as well as to temper that with the ability to remember all that was fought for and never to let unchecked patriotism stiffle reasonable dissent and protest.

If you do go to the Wikipedia article as I mentioned before there is a moving quote by a Turkish leader of the 30's that I urge you to note. I won't add it here as I have used more than enough of Wikipedia's information (you really should check out the original article) and you may be interested in some of the information I deliberately left out.


PS. The title is I think a doubly good one, if I do say so myself, as it references both Jessica and the soldiers dawn services and what was fought for - many more sunlit days. Just a thought.

PPS. As you have probably noticed if you have been following my blog from the beginning or shortly thereafter, I have finally figured out how to use the link button, which like my dear italics button has changed since I started posting. I can now make my links clickable again. Also, a few days ago I got a new widget, the FB badge. It is the only way I knew how to get any kind of a picture on this blog. LOL. Also it includes my email address, and on the top of the main page, which I like because I encourage any and all to email as well as leave comments.

PPPS. Today will probably be my last post until May as I have a, probably silly, habit of trying to do things like "metering" my postings paragraphs, which also includes things like tediously "self-justifying" (a formating device) my sentences on things like resumes when they don't naturally do so and, as relates to not posting until May now, to "metering" my posts in terms of number of posts per month since beginning this blog. Check my archives if you want to see what I mean about this last one. Anyway, till May 1st or so, take care.

The C.A.T.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The World Today!

Today is a "command performance". I made an agreement with my FB and blogging friend FJ to swap blog topic choices. He picked mine for me and I picked his for him. I think I got the short end of the stick on this one. He may say different. LOL.

His for me is "The World Today!" (exclamation point mine). Mine for him is "My First Girlfriend".

My comment to him upon hearing my topic was "I hate you". His to me was "You &%^$@#" I have to say though I have backup on my complaint. I was talking to a fellow follower of both of ours on our blogs named Mark. Mark agrees with me. LOL.

Mark's exact words were "That is a truly sucky topic". I couldn't agree more Mark. LOL. BTW, Mark has graciously allowed me to use his name. I offered to note that an anonymous person agreed with me after all the trouble I've had lately with people not wanting to be mentioned, especially by name.

Mark, bless his soul, said "Use my name, it would be proof you didn't make it up". My journalistic impulses are vindicated, finally. Someone understands that without names it somehow isn't the same.

I was also telling Mark that I told FJ that if necessary I would "twist his topic, like a pretzel" to get to a topic I liked. LOL. FJ considered this unacceptable. Well, cheating anyway. So I agreed I would do it only if absolutely neccessary.

Mark agreed that if twisting the topic like a pretzel was anyones job, then I was "creative enough to do it". Thanks Mark. I think that was a compliment. LOL.
I also told Mark that just because I promised to try to not twist without trying to comply with the spirit of things first I didn't promise not to ask for help. LOL.

So after some consultation here is what we came up with...

The world today is round and blue and green and brown mostly. It has lots of water (but not enough)...
- my part

...The world today looks different than it did 16 million years ago. Period.
- Marks part

So there you have it. A collaboration between FJ and me (and Mark). I did tell FJ that he'd probably like it as it would probably be short. (At least the main body of this post that actually deals with the topic selected itself.) He just probably doesn't have a clue how short. LOL.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Just Because You Fake It ...

Ok. First let me start off by saying a few introductory things. To FJ and all the others who got bored reading Part I and Part II of my LiveBridge trilogy. Sometimes my posts are really long, sometimes they are really short, and sometimes they are just right. LOL. Those obviously weren't the times they were just right. Long and probably boring to people who weren't there (and maybe even those who were). As for Part III, I think I redeemed myself there.

When I was talking to Anthony on FB he said something about the guy on the toilet (but not exactly what he said in his comment on the post) and I said that the guy was probably faking it. "Buyers are liars" after all. That is when he literally handed me the title of this post by saying "Just Because You Fake It, Doesn't Mean Everyone Else Does Too". LOL.

Well, that brings me to another work related story. But relax. The LiveBridge stories have concluded for now. This story relates to my time as a semi-pro slurpologist at 7-Eleven. It was a dark and stormy night. Wrong story. LOL. Back to the real story.

It was policy to greet each and every customer as they walked through the front door and the electronic bell rang to announce them for two reasons. One was, of course to be friendly and let them know that we appreciated their business. The other reason was more practical in nature. It let potential shoplifters know that we saw them come in and were on the ball.

Anyway, I greeted this one man who came in with a friendly hello as soon as my Pavlovian bell told me it was time to do so. He did his shopping quite quickly as I remember or may have just come to the till for something. We chatted a little. A conversation that I no doubt initiated based on some icebreaker.

Perhaps the chat was a little longer than I first mentioned. Or not. Either way, at the end of it, he was suitably impressed with me to say that I was extremely friendly and he might have even said something along the lines of me being one of the nicest clerks he had ever met.

That's when it happened. I screwed up. Big time. He asked me how I could be so friendly in such a job. Trying (but obviously not succeeding) at being funny, I actually said "I'm faking it!". You should have seen the look on his face immediately after I said that. Totally deflated. He took me completely seriously. Maybe I was a little serious when I said it. And he clued into that.

But mostly I was joking. No matter. After giving me such a nice complement, he was as I said, totally deflated. I tried to tell him I was kidding. But it was no use. He couldn't be cheered up. It was such a startling transformation in mood it brought to mind the way a guy would look and sound if you told him point-blank that you were faking it in bed! LOL. It was that severe.

So never again, I hope, will I ever be so cavallier with my humor when someone is trying to be complementary. It sure didn't pay off that day. And after about 20 years I still remember this. I am hanging my head as I type this. LOL. Ok, maybe not but I do still regret it and feel bad for the poor guy who was just trying to be nice.


P.S. This is my 50th Post. Yay! I think I may just wait a bit with the submission to the blog review "I will ^*&%$ tear you apart" as I am thinking of proofreading all my entries first. I know, I know. What a chickenshit. What can I say. It's true.

P.P.S. This second post "in one day" was because I hit a wrong button and posted a blank post initially. I thought of Anthony's comment dovetailing with this story and thought ok I'll post again. I say "in one day" in quotes because I am actually finishing this today ...

... P.P.P.S - LOL On Earth Day - Thursday, April 22, 2010. So instead of bogusly saying wishing you an early Happy Earth Day I will just come clean and say plain old Happy Earth Day and don't forget the hour without power.

The C.A.T.

Life At LiveBridge - Part III

So the last time I wrote, I admitted that my posting left at least a little to be desired. So today, in my final posting in the main LiveBridge series (which is not to say I won't mention some people more as individuals later) I will talk more about the calls themselves and other information that I hope will be a little more interesting.

As many years have passed (in August it will be 10 years(!) since I started working there), the stories that are really sticky in my mind are probably few so this will be a much shorter post than the last two (then again maybe not! LOL).

In mentioning the UFO story (CFO vs. UFO) in the last post I have pretty much said it all about Experian as far as my call related "humor" goes. There are 2 "celebrity" stories that came out of my rather short time in Experian though.

The first is probably the best, such as it is. It was on my birthday, in fact, in the year 2000 of course since I was in that area only a few months. I called a business that seemed to be located out of a home. I can't prove it but I think I called Clint Eastwood's wife Dina's company. It used the same last name as her maiden name and seemed to be in the media industry.

I think it was a home based business because the person who picked up the phone sounded like CE himself! Now I definitely can't prove it, but the length of the call (or absence of it being more to the point - lol) kind of bears me out. I did my usual introductory spiel and got that far but no farther. LOL. I was met with a brusque (Eastwoodesque?) not interested.

The second brush with celebrity was by "proxy". I was talking to a guy in California somewhere and we got talking a fair bit (a definite no-no as I stated in the previous post) when he pointed out that he was the "next-door" neighbor (as much as you can be on a ranch) of the 70's and 80's TV star (and one of the actresses I most wanted to look like growing up) Cheryl Ladd. Again nothing I can prove in a court-of-law. LOL.

Next we move on to my next assignment - newspapers. The scene of my biggest crime. It was when I was in newspapers that I probably got the most creative about selling stuff. Was even threatened with being fired! The incident in question was when I told one person (I think it was a man), and not for the first time I might add, that he could use the paper for papier mache with his wife/girlfriend to "spice things up a bit". LOL. Seriously. Didn't sell the paper unfortunately and I think I got a Calgary Herald representative that was seeded into the calls. I did get a laugh though. And isn't that all that really counts.

That is also were I believe I started calling the male management "management boy" when requesting their "services" (LOL) to verify my sales, etc. It is testimony to my charming personality, I'd like to think anyway, that I did not get hit with a sexual harrassment complaint or ten. My favorite "management boy", the "Roy of Sunshine" even took to calling me "papier mache girl" until I asked him not to in a rare show of ninnyism on my part when thinking about what my 2nd favorite newspaper "management boy" (the one who threatened to fire me - I don't hold grudges! LOL) would think.

Now comes credit cards, the scene of most of my crimes and mis-demeanors. I'll go in order as memory serves me. First, there was the guy who said he wasn't interested initially (most all sales even say that so you can't let a little thing like that stop you - lol) and then after chatting him up a bit got him to go through the rather lengthy questioning process for the application. After each and every question however, he reitterated that he really didn't want a(nother) credit card.

Not one to let a little thing like that dissuade me I continued the "process". Each and every question. A (mere) objection from him. A (spirited) rebuttal from me. Until finally near the end of either the application questions or disclosure statement (likely the questions as the disclosure was recorded) he told me he was taking the call on the toilet. LOL. What did I do then? Continue of course, reminding him that saying that on the recording coming up would probably not be a good idea. This card was a sale.

Then there was the one where I told another guy that a card with an APR much higher than he was (willing to admit anyway) already carrying on his current card(s) was the equivalent of the girlfriend in the shocking pink bra and panties with all the extra features that necessitated the high APR and his "more sensible" cards with the lower APR were like the faithful, loyal wife at home. This got a laugh but he was playing hardball and no sale for me as I remember. It was calls like this that had the "Roy of Sunshine" telling me I was supposed to be selling the cards not myself! LOL.

There was also a time in System 1 (I can still see it in my minds eye) when I actually fell asleep making my pitch and sort of woke up when I realized that I was actually babbling something (more than likely off-script) and found out just how good I am at reestablishing control to the situation (or more than likely just how much some people are willing to put up with when they really want or need something). Sale!

Saving the best for last, there was the time I actually managed to sell a credit card to a man (I swear many of my sales were to women too. Really. I swear) who originally told me to put me on the Do Not Call List. Yup. Even that does not deter a true "teleharrassment specialist" (I should trademark that title - after all I coined it way back when).

Since he asked me to put him on the dreaded list almost immediately after I said hello, inspiration struck me that day and I asked a question I never asked before or since. I asked him if he knew why he wanted to be put on the list. Being a good sport he let me tell him what I was actually selling when I told him he didn't even know that yet.

His next gambit (you learn that it's all a cat and mouse game - lol) was to give me the worst (from my point of view as the seller) objection he could foist on me. He didn't believe in credit cards. This was the worst objection possible as it is the hardest, in my opinion anyway, to rebut. But after assuring him that credit cards did in fact exist (a little joke that got a fair sized laugh) I pointed out that it could be a just-in-case card. Bingo. I'm sure the joke smoothed the way for him to be so easily sold with just one rebuttal instead of the usual three we were allowed or the thirty or so I was used to giving (seriously - I actually got in trouble once for giving 27 rebuttals - as if they'd started counting from the beginning - but that was not the norm - maybe 10 tops. LOL). Another sale.

This one got me a mixed review with management. There was a manager who I won't name (for reasons you'll come to understand shortly) who once regailed a sales meeting with a story of how he used to use a bait-and-switch technique when he used to sell electronic equipment. After the sale, I immediately signed myself off of my terminal (again not the norm) to rush to his office to tell him that I (with a huge grin on my face and maybe even laughing) told him that I sold a credit card to someone who originally told me to DNC him. This went over less well than I thought. I was shocked. I thought if anyone would appreciate my accomplishment, he would. We left it at a stalemate where I was still happy with my self and not concealing it and he offered a weak warning that I might find myself in trouble after/if the tape got reviewed.

Not to be put off from my crowing about my amazing feat of salesmanship I then went to the newspaper guy who was also upper management and gave him a chance to redeem management in my eyes by congratulating me on the accomplishment. He came through a little better with no warnings (in fairness, it really wasn't his department so that's probably why he was less of a fuddy-duddy about it) and making the point that since the guy agreed it probably wasn't a problem. Vindication. Sweet vindication. This from the guy who was threatening (basically an empty one too, I think, that was more to scare me in line) to fire me for the papier mache comment.

That brings me to my last story. One call that came through the center that I did not mention before because of it's brevity was NARAL - Pro-Choice Voices. This was a survey - a very short one - where the rep was supposed to mine e-mail addresses. It was harder than it sounds because many people back then apparently only had work and not personal e-mails and it was a divisive and obviously political issue. This was I believe being done just before or after a U.S Election at one level or another.

I have two things to say about this. One is another unconfirmed brush with celebrity. The other is how well I did on this call. First the celebrity angle.

The celebrity/personage of sorts I allege to have called up was one of Robert Kennedy's sons. I can't remember which one. What makes me believe this is possible is because of the name on the screen and the accent of the man who answered combined with the fact that the list we were using was probably politically generated in some sort of way. That's all I'm saying. LOL.

The second and last thing is that I totally owned this call. Sad to say that probably since it was very short-term and only involved e-mail address collection there were no bonuses at all with the call. A pity as it was reasonably hard for the reason I mentioned and for whatever reason I did really well at it. I remember this because I used thumb-tacks in the cubicle walls to keep score. Pounding them in a little row as I got another hard-to-get address. Pounding them in so hard that I got one in the finger once. LOL. Which is one of the reasons I remember it so well

Anyway, that concludes the series of Life At LiveBridge, a chronicle in three parts. I'm not ruling out a command performance though if a old co-worker who might have read any of this has any good memories to add. Oh, one other thing, now that I think of it. I almost forgot Erik K and the toe-nail painting episode in my personal stories in Part II. Oh and also the Darek (Erich C's twin) ode to her majesty's toes. Well, perhaps another time...


Monday, April 19, 2010

Life At LiveBridge - Part II

So last time I told you about the job itself. Today I will mention the people. In the interests of time (and my sanity) I won't bother with aliases (see "Outing" Family and Friends post). But I will just use first names. Or if two or more people had the same name, I'll use an initial for the last name.

As these LiveBridge posts were done now (I would have got to it eventually) in honor of Kristianne and Alyson being my latest blog followers I will start with them I guess.

Kristianne was someone who was very bubbly and creative. She often did little crafts in the systems (the individual computer rooms that housed different projects for the most part). She was part of a larger group of young people that all sat together including a girl whose name was Kristi but whose last name I forget.

Kristi and her boyfriend were involved in Medieval re-enactments. This was the first and last time I ever met anyone (to my knowledge anyway) who did this. I found this kind of interesting.

Kristianne, Kristi and I once performed some silly little song in front of an entire system (for God knows what reason). It actually went over quite well, as I remember. As you can tell, what with publishing a blog detailing some of my oddest, grossest, silliest and craziest moments I am not that shy. LOL.

Kristianne also sat with a group of guys named Tayo, Josue, and Chris D. Tayo was and still is an aspiring singer. Both Tayo and Chris are nominally in touch as they are on my Facebook although we have hardly spoken. I believe the same can be said for Kristianne and them as well. It was Josue who really caught Kristianne's attention.

So much so that they have 3 kids together! Unfortunately, they are not together any longer. But they did have 2 beautiful little girls and a equally gorgeous little boy. Kristianne has moved about quite a bit and is currently moving to if not already there to the coast for school. Josue is I believe still in Ontario where they got married.

To go back a bit, Chris D is a bit of a funny story. Chris was in credit cards with me and he was on the verge of being let go because he was having a hard time with sales. Management gave him all kinds of advice including the following which at the time seemed a bit retarded. Apparently, he was told to lower his head when he spoke to lower his voice. LOL. That said, it is equally apparent that something about that must have not been quite as retarded as all that because he went from being on the chopping block to becoming a team leader. Yay Chris D.

Briefly, another thing about Chris D is that he was engaged at the time we worked with him and he just recently (within the last year) finally married the girl. It was about time as they had one or two kids together. It was one of the longest engagement's I'd heard of except for a cousin of my mom's who was actually engaged for decades (I would have used italics but they weren't working - if anything deserves italics it's the word decades when talking about being engaged) I believe.

Kristianne was involved in the home sales of Creative Memories as well at the time. I remember going to a CM party she hosted. I ended up buying a starter kit only to do exactly one project. Actually project implys a full scrapbook even if it is a little one. When I say one project I actually mean 1 page. But I will say what a page. LOL. Seriously it was nice and I should get back to it. Too bad Kristianne isn't in the city anymore to give me a kick-start.

It's not surprising Kristianne would sell Creative Memories as she was very crafty. She was always making little cards and things for people at work. There was a girl named Millaray that Kristianne and I (but mostly Kristianne) befriended who she made a beautiful little birthday card for as I recall.

Kristianne also made me a sparkly container to hold things out of a clear candy tub, some construction paper and sparkles left over from a system motivational project. The candy tub likely came from a guy named Bruce who everyone called the candyman. He would go around the system handing out candies to other staff periodically. Not to be cynical but this was mostly to get off the phones for a few minutes every once in a while and to get to talk to the young girls. LOL.

Now, Alyson. Alyson, was and is a lovely young girl who just hit 30. I remember one time helping her study for a test in marketing in the systems between calls (they were obviously slow that day!). I would like to think that as she said at the time that my help was in fact useful and as she did well on her test that I can take some credit for her later success in her chosen field of marketing. She is now a partner as well as director of client services at at small marketing firm she helped set up.

The one story I most remember about Alyson is perhaps not the most conventionally flattering. But you have to put it in the perspective of being a salesperson. Alyson and I were sitting next to each other in System 3 (the windowless wonder!) - I can still see it. All of a sudden I hear her say to the older lady she was talking to "just say you agree". I admit my moral compass didn't always face due north in that job but I was aghast. We got into so much after her call ended that...

... enter "Fast Eddie" a team leader who was formerly on the floor with us as a salesperson and was well known for his shall we say aggressive sales tactics. Naturally, he sided with Alyson and was quite upset with me for interfering. We got into it so bad that another worker Bev, whose son, brother-in-law, nephew, would-be daughter-in-law, etc, etc, etc all worked there at one time or another - lol - actually had to come to my defense.

Eddie ended up selling Amway, ahem, Quixtar while still at LiveBridge. As did David T, who was Bev's son. There was at least one other guy and another lady selling it and attempting to recruit there so life was interesting. I went to a Quixtar meeting but never had any real intentions of getting involved. I doubt Alyson was stupid enough to even waste any time going to a meeting.

Now that I think of it Josue and Kristianne (mainly through Josue) was also involved with Quixtar. It was quite the thing at LiveBridge that year. Bev's son, who as I said was also involved was one of the other three people I mentioned in my last post, as being in my training class and who stuck it out for any length of time. He went on to become a verifier in the newspaper section. In fact of the two sets of four people I mentioned last time from the two training groups, mine and the one four days later, I was the only one who didn't move up in the company in some small way. LOL. Slacker.

It is now I should put in an aside that would have perhaps better fit with the other day's post about the job itself. But it came up more naturally here. Slacker that I may have been I did once earn a bonus of about $565 in a two week period on credit cards. It was in no way typical (although in credit cards I mostly made a decent bonus of probably between $50 and a couple hundred dollars) but one that I was certainly proud of as I maxed out the bonus structure that pay period. Too bad I wasn't smart enough to save the pay stub for proof of bragging rights.

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"X" was one of my loyalist subjects. He might even have been the one to coin the term Carmania for my "kingdom" or queendom as it were. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about that did I. I don't know quite how it started, although I could take a guess, but I called myself the "Queen of Livebridge" and appropriately enough, on Halloween Day 2000 bought myself a tiara to prove it. A tiara that I wore at times in the systems. With the approval I might add of the true monarch at LiveBridge - the Operations Manager Sue. She found it amusing and I think a diversion for staff when things got unpleasant around the building.

Speaking of management, there was yet another queen at LiveBridge. A drag queen. His name was Dale. He was, I believed (and still basically do), a very nice guy. He had his own court of admirers. It helped that he was a very funny and pleasant person for the most part. Although, whether stereotype or not, he could be bitchy. We had a falling out of sorts, that I don't really understand. Because of this, I am no longer in contact with either him or one of his best friends there, Sheena, who went from credit cards (which she didn't really excel at) to reception. Sheena, while not gay, I think probably had her own bitchy streak but could also be an extremely nice person and I miss not being able to keep in touch with her as well as with Dale.

There were several others, in management and front office jobs that I liked and got along with,for the most part including Candice (originally from Experian and then training), Mike (the newspaper guy I mentioned in the previous post who also did training), Walter (also in newspapers), Karen (the tech girl), Brent (a team leader), Shauna (a verifier in newspapers), Eddie (mentioned above and a verifier in newspapers and then a team leader in either/both newspapers and credit cards) and a guy who wasn't there long named Colin I think.

Then there was him. The "Roy of Sunshine". This particular person was without question my favorite person at LiveBridge for most of my time there. He was in the training class four days after me along with Candice (whom I mentioned above) and Karen (also mentioned above). I'm not sure when I noticed him but I remember the first conversation I had with him that sticks out in memory.

He introduced himself as Shane (the name he originally used - his middle name), we had a pleasant enough conversation about god knows what (probably some highly interesting work related subject as most telemarketers seem to think that most of their calls are the height of interest - lol - at least it seemed to me) and I remember telling him not to mumble as he was an interesting person and shouldn't hide that behind mumbling.

Where I really remember seeing him (this may have come first) was in newspapers. During my overtime. Apparently he also did Experian for a bit but was transfered to newspapers fairly quickly. He seemed quite well suited to it. Certainly more so than me. That's how I noticed him and fell in love - lol. Or fell in love as much as a lazy old asexual can. He dazzled me with his smile.

You see, every time a person in newspapers got a sale they were to stand up and ring a bell to get a verifiers attention. He was usually standing up anyway. Or at least he stood up when the bells rung to see who had a sale. It wasn't confusing as the people with sales had their hands up as well. Anyway, whenever I had my rather rare sales he would give me one of those dazzling smiles. I think he found me amusing as I could be quite outrageous in what I would say to people on the phones to get a sale or even just when it wasn't necessary to make a sale but to allieviate boredom.

This post is about all the people at LiveBridge (well some) so I won't go into more detail (now anyway) about the "Roy of Sunshine" (Roy being his actual first name that he eventually started using because management started calling him that due to his s.i.n.) but as I said he was adorable. I'll end this discussion of him on the sad note that we eventually had a falling out too.

Well, that is some of the people who populated one of the most fun jobs I have had. In writing this I found I couldn't mention everybody I remember because I either couldn't remember their names, didn't have a discernable story other than that they were wonderful people who made the day go by faster (like Anil, Darek, the other Chris D (the male nurse), Claudia, Ricki Lynn, Laura, etc, etc, etc), or it just didn't fit into the flow of the story.

Also, I found that the stories didn't do these people justice. It seemed a whole lot more fun, and interesting at the time. I guess it's really a case of "you had to be there". So for most of you, who read this this is probably a post to quickly pass over but for Kristianne, Alyson, Sid, Shauna, and any others who happen upon it hopefully it will get you thinking of some of your fond memories of that time.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Life at LiveBridge - Part I

Well people, as of now I officially have 32 followers. My last two Kristianne and Alyson are both former co-workers at a call center I worked for called LiveBridge. So in honor of their joining my blog I thought I would write a something about my LiveBridge memories.

First of all, let me say that even though it was a call center (and my first real call center job I have to say I really enjoyed it for the most part. There were many times during the time I worked there when I may not have thought so but on the whole it was a good experience.

Let's start at the beginning. I got the job after just finishing a get back to work course at a place called PSDN (Personal Support Development Network) that I am not sure exists anymore.

The course was broken up into a few parts. There was a Life Skills course component that was central to the course. Then there was a remedial English and Math component and finally a computer component that taught Office 98 or something. A brief overview of word processing, spreadsheets, databases, and powerpoint. Just enough knowledge to get you in trouble. LOL.

So after taking this course, as I had had no or extremely crappy jobs preceding this, I got a very short term job at CIS (Customer Information Services). It was a job doing telephone surveys for a company that was doing a short term (very short term) educational health care survey.

I got this job on the basis of two things really. First I actually researched the job at the library and brought printouts of that research that I referred to at the interview which seemed to have impressed one of the two interviewers I had (it was my first - and so far only two person interview in my career). Second, I brought up Toastmasters on my resume and in answer to a question and it turned out both interviewers were fellow current or former Toastmasters.

As you can see, I was fortunate. It also helped that I really was interested in the job as I wanted to do survey work! It obviously showed. It also helped that the course I took was so recent and was for a full 6 months. I was still in the job search component of it when I found this job.

Finally, the fact that the job was so close to ending meant that they probably really needed people. And I guess, most people would have found asking people endlessly if they were very, mostly, or sort of or however the terms went v-e-r-y boring.

The day I applied at LiveBridge was extremely hot. I remember this for a definite reason. LOL. Well, before I go there, when I was busing to the site of the job which was just past Mayfield Common in an area that is considered a light-industrial district the bus driver forgot to tell me when to get off so I had to walk back several blocks in that awful heat.

That wouldn't have been so bad, except it was so hot that my foundation was melting on my face. Yuck. LOL. So I had to do a touch up of major proportions when I got there.

Then I had a interview with the personnel lady or hiring manager. The first time I think that I saw an actual hiring manager/personnel person for an interview. It went very well, considering the only "decent" job I had had in several years was at CIS and it was only a few weeks to just over a month long. One thing in my favor was it was related to the job at hand. Surveys.

When I was first hired at LiveBridge, I did surveys for a company called Experian. The first day I worked (actually just sat in on I think) in the Experian area I remember being almost on the verge of tears. I don't remember what was so hard about it as in retrospect it seems like it was pretty easy but it didn't seem like it that day. I'm glad I got through it though and stuck it out as it turned out to be a very good job that I kept for about 2-1/2 years and met some really nice people at.

There was either a three day or a week long original training session. Of the people in my training class only four (including myself) stayed any reasonable length of time. Funny enough, the class that started four days later, had four people that stayed on for a signifigant length of time as well. I got to know most of them reasonably well for acquaintances so that is why I remember this.

My start date was August 4, 2000 which I remember because it was the 100th birthday of the Queen Mother (now deceased). This event stuck in my memory because she was born the same year as my grandmother (also deceased) and my mother was born the same year as the current Queen Elizabeth.

Something else that happened, at the very beginning of my job at LiveBridge was that I had a really bad accident the day I started my job. I was trying to get there on time and was rushing. I was running up an escalator (yeah, really smart) and luckily I didn't fall down the escalator backwards. Instead my shoe, which was a bit loose, slipped off one foot and I fell forward, up the escalator. I had books in my hands and luckily I was close enough to the top that my shoe and the books landed at the top landing of the escalator.

I did end up with one honey of a bruise just under my knee. I am actually mis-stating it to call it a bruise singular as it became, in a progressive way, a series of bruises. It was so bad that it started with a fair size lump under my knee that was the inital bruise. Then it travelled down my leg including on both sides of my leg. Then down, down, down my leg until it actually reached my toes in the span of several weeks! Crazy.

I obviously didn't totally learn my lesson, as several weeks or months passed and as I was running to catch the bus after work because it ran so infrequently as it was considered a light-industrial district as I said before, I fell off a curb, running for the bus. Missed it too boot, I think. That injury, was a bad one too as my full weight (not inconsiderable) landed squarely on my one ankle. I ended up bringing bags of peas to work for several days.

Anyway, on to the job itself. Experian was, as I said before, a simple enough job. A series of questions that did not change regardless of what business was being called. After I got over being a weinie about it and got into the job I started to make it more fun by chatting a bit with the "customers" and making jokes here and there. This was definitely frowned upon as it was supposed to be a serious, business-like "business" of taking a capsule history of sorts of the company financially and structurally.

I remember one joke that I often asked when asking for the names of the head people in the company was if a CFO (Chief Financial Officer) was any relation to a UFO (Unidentified Flying Object). Usually, I was the only one laughing - there may have been a groan or possibly even a chuckle or two - but once the lady answering the questions (the owner or CEO,I think) gave me a full laugh and said she was telling their CFO that. Vindication! I am smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me (and think I'm funny).

While in Experian, I started doing overtime in newspapers. Now that was hard work. For me anyway. Some people took to it like ducks to water. But then again, every area - credit surveys, newspapers, and credit cards all had their stars. I even managed to become one - but it sure wasn't in Experian or newspapers. Not the Calgary Herald, not the Edmonton Journal and certainly not the National Post. I did well enough that they let me have the over-time, so I guess I wasn't horrible. But that's about all.

I did win two cookbooks in newspaper area contests. There were two editions of this cookbook and I won both. Although I never saw the second one because it got inadvertently given to someone else. Oh well I know. Oh and I won a copy of the local paper for 9-11. Dubious honor that that may be. Speaking of 9-11, I still remember going to work that day. I was running late and took a cab part of the way (bused the main trip and cabbed it the final leg).

I was in the cab and he had the radio on. I heard something fuzzy (the radio was annoyingly low as some rather stupid, in my opinion, cab-drivers seem to think low is a viable alternative to off) about planes flying into buildings. This sounded ludicrous, as I had never heard of the first World Trade Center terrorism a few years before as I don't always follow the news). Anyway, I remember thinking this was like a modern-day War of The Worlds broadcast and wondered if Orson Welles family were getting residuals.

Even without the cab, I couldn't have missed this WTC news event as almost everyone if not everyone was pulled from credit surveys and credit card sales to do newspapers. They were determined to get the maximum mileage out of the situation, although to be fair, the papers were being sold in Canada and the credit stuff was all being done in the states where I'm sure they would have been less than happy to hear from us. Needless, to say, even I did reasonably well in papers that day.

Fast forward a bit, and I am being asked (well actually told!) to transfer to the credit card section because my Experian numbers were too low (all that chatting didn't help and yes, even in credit reporting there were quotas) so they thought I would do better in credit cards where you were "selling" something more directly and personality could be more useful. I remember, having a conversation with one of the bosses, oddly enough one who dealt more with the newspapers, about credit card sales being for the soulless people who would bankrupt people. LOL. Little did I know how much I would come to love it. Shows how much I know myself. Soulless indeed.

Selling credit cards was where I spent most of my time in my 2-1/2 years there. There were a few different companies we sold for the 3 that I remember being First USA, Capital One, and a really high rate card (at least I thought so at the time) called Metris (a Fingerhut company - insert dirty joke here - lol).

Of all the companies we sold for I preferred Metris because for whatever reason, I was best at it. I used to have a b.s. line that often seemed to work with the Metris customers - "as a last used, first paid card as such you would have no interest!"

Imagine me using that line on any of you. I'd probably get socked in the eye. But the Metris customers really needed the credit obviously, or thought they did because they would pay up to 29.99% as an APR. That is awful but recently I heard (I wish I wrote down the specifics - I think it was on Yahoo News) of a credit card in this post economic meltdown era of 70 or 79.99%. I didn't even think over 30% was legal. Yikes.

Well, that's it for today. Next time I will tell you a little bit about the people I met there. It was a fairly big place and so there were a number of interesting people who cycled through there over the course of my time there.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pepto-Bismol Pink

Hello everyone (and by everyone I mean all thirty-one of you [yay] - and welcome to me newest, my real-time, but long-distance friend Kristianne). Today I am going to share (another) dirty little secret with you.

Well, secret may be overstating it a bit. I have already told #30 (fishguts aka Tim K) and "the friend who can not be named". But still, the dirty part applies and it sounds better together. LOL.

Anyway, my last post marked my 45th since starting on January 6th, just over 3 months ago. Quite awhile back, like about 10 or 15 posts ago I was already thinking of submitting my little blog - this little masterpiece - to a blog review.

Not just any blog review either. A mighty site that specializing in tearing into blogs and titled, appropriately enough, . Why submit my precious little baby to those people.

Well, you know what they say... any publicity is good publicity. So after I get to approximately 50 posts (about the minimium they like to review I believe) I am thinking seriously of indulging in this crazy behavior.

One thing I would like to do first though, which means I might wait till 75 or even 100 posts, is learn how to use widgets better. So far I only have my comment feed. Admittedly it has come in handy for pointing me to new comments before I stumbled into the settings and found the part that allows you to get emails sent to you telling you about new comments. I thought that should have been automatic. Silly me.

Some widgets I'd like, but not necessarily exclusively, are, first of all, a site counter of some sort. Apparently there are several different ones. This is good since I tried adding a site counter once and I signed up for it (that I definitely remember doing) but it asked me to copy and paste, which I'm sure they all do, and I didn't know how to do it. Sigh. So I was left wondering if I went back to that site (sitemeter I think) if it would give me another kick at the can or not.

Another thing that would be nice for this site is the thingy that tells you where people are coming from. As in what part of the world. It also tells you how they came to your site. I am not sure if this info is redundant to some of the fancier metering sites but I have seen it on a number of different blogs and it looks good to me.

Other than that, I think I'd like to keep it simple. There is just one more feature I would like on this little blog but for now I want to keep it a secret for reasons which I'm sure you all will understand when the time to talk about it/unroll it comes around. Keeping it simple is also probably a good thing for two reasons.

One is, of course, my lack of technical skills. And two, the people at Ask and Ye Shall Receive (the ones with the out there tear you apart address) seem to like things kept pretty simple. For one thing no auto-music on blogs. I totally agree on that point.

One thing I don't agree on, and will more than likely get savaged for, is my pepto-bistmol pink background. I refuse to let this make me change it though. I have my reasons for this. First, I kind of like it and it's the only decent free template on blogger/blogspot.

Then there's the problem of any changes I make in the template causing potential problems with my current format such as it is. Finally, I can't afford a fancy, bought template and even if there are decent free ones that you can get from other sources there is still the problem of "attaching them". I'm not sure I'm up to the job.

I will leave you with today's question. Are there any things that you think would improve my blog. Widgets or otherwise (words). If you are willing you can take a look through some of the various blogs on blogger/blogspot and see what gizmos and things are cool. Also, some posting themes you may happen to like and think I could also do well with. This pre-review would be most appreciated.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fat Girl Sings The Blues

As you can see, this is the second post for today (as I missed the 11th - which by the way was my half year birthday [gifts welcome] - lol). Since in the last post I talked about being a cow vs. a fat cow that reminded me of a rather "sad" story.

Allow me to share some of my personal heartbreak. It was several months ago. I was on the street. Minding my business (sound familiar - lol), as usual. All of a sudden, out of nowhere and for no apparent reason some young native guy starts harranging me for being fat.

I have thankfully blocked out the details (so this will be a fairly short post) but for the entire two minutes or so that we were standing on the corner of the street waiting for the streetlight to change color I listened to his constant stream of abuse.

Never before have I ever had anything like that happen to me. Admittedly, there have been two or three times when people will yell smartass compliments out when they are in the safety of a passing car. But never before (or hopefully from then on) has something like this happened.

So my question this time (since I've become so fond of asking questions lately) is can you believe someone would actually "do" this?


Cat Or Cow

Hi everyone. It's been a couple of days more than it should but I'm back. In my last post I asked you to determine whether or not I was, in fact, pushy.

Today, I will let you consider if I am in fact, C.A.T. or C.O.W. (Challenged On wRelationships - think of the word wrapped - lol)

Let me explain. I was talking to a friend, a few days back and after cancelling for the second time in a row a "standing date" to get together as we usually do twice weekly she called me a cow! LOL.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not shamelessly looking for sympathy. More like validation. The word cow didn't really upset me. Now if she had called me a fat cow that would be another story. Not that I'm not fat. But I've just never liked that combination.

Calling me a cow on the other hand, and with all the sense of righteous indignation she could muster, just struck me as funny. Nevertheless, I must never be wrong. LOL. So I ask you (today's question) was that really cowlike behavior.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Pushy In Action

My friend FJ (or Francisco) from Chile, who I have mentioned before when talking up his English language blog ( ) gave me a new nickname a little while ago.


Honestly, I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. LOL. Ok, well actually, maybe I do. We were talking about me getting more followers for this blog (which has jumped from 27 to 30!) and it came up again. This was the second time.

It all started earlier that day. I was sitting at my computer, minding my own business when he tells me out of the blue that he sometimes hates me! Surprised (cause who could possibly hate me at any time - lol), I asked him why?

His answer was that sometimes I indulged in "pushings" as he called it (English is his second language). I thought it was kind of funny originally. I was a telemarketer of credit cards, etc. for 2-1/2 years, after all, so I do know "pushy".

When I asked him how so, I believe the answer was along the lines that I am always pushing him to either write in his blog or read mine! Can't argue there either. Don't see a problem there either. LOL. We agreed I was maybe, a little pushy

Then I told him, as I mentioned earlier, about the new members I was getting in short order. One (#27) a day or two before, and two that very day at about that very moment. That's when he gave me the idea (and title) for this post by saying it was ...

Pushy In Action. LOL.

Seriously, though, I'd like to think of myself as perhaps intense. Or a good promoter. But I did originally think pushy was kind of funny for a nickname. And a little apt.

Till he started using it a official greeting. Constantly. LOL. Now I'm not so sure. Oh, how I long for the day's of being simply CAT. Besides, in fairness to me, my pushiness did help him. I asked #30 to be his follower too. He said yes.

So, I'll leave it to you dear readers. Am I really that pushy? Or just charmingly self-promoting. LOL. You be the judges.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I'm So "Compelling"

Hi everybody. So I'm trying to get back in the swing of things posting-wise, as you can see. I am also cheating as you can also very likely see. I start a post on the appointed day but don't finish it for days. Cheating yes. But at least it prods me into doing something.

So how exactly can I call myself, one so boring I can't think of enough to say on a regular basis about recent events since I don't feel yet like pouring over the past much, compelling. Well, that's a bit of a cheat as well. You see, I couldn't think of the exact right word - the best I could come up with was compelling.

After I explain, maybe someone can figure out the word that escapes me. I think it starts with an e or an i and means persuasive. Like when telemarketers (like I used to be - and I was a damn good teleharrassment specialist) are persuasive.

Anyway, I now have 15 goodreads friends. The last 5 or so all coming within the last day or so. Well, I was trying to scare up more on FB where they have been coming from my "randoms" there. I was taking to a female "random" and she told me that it sounded like a sales pitch.

Since I had nothing to sell I was a little surprised, although I guess I shouldn't be as I can be quite aggressive about "selling" my pet hobbies - like goodreads or this blog. It was funny though. While I didn't so much notice it in my "pitch" to her I did notice it in a subsequent plea to someone else.

I'll let you decide for yourselves I told them I had just joined a site called goodreads awhile ago and that "they should too". LOL. Then I went on to say that it was "free to join, of course" and "It's fun". How's that for "pitchy". LOL.

I guess that is why of the 5 people I got to join all 5 were guys (not one woman - yet!). Maybe guys take more pity on someone with a lost cause. Of course, maybe that was a fluke too. After all, I probably spoke to more guys than women on FB lately.

Regardless, if someone knows of the correct word to use instead of compelling, I would appreciate it if you left a comment stating it. Also, feel free to help me refine my pitch.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

"Outing" Family & Friends

Hi again. This marks the second post "today" as I didn't post on Saturday like I was supposed to (as I mentioned at the end of the last post).

Now I want to talk about family and friends. Specifically, how to write a blog when everyone is so damn concerned about their anonymity. Obviously, they couldn't give a rat's ass about my journalistic integrity. Damn them all to hell.

But seriously, as you saw in my last post as well as some other previous ones, I mostly respect this annoying habit of these sad, sad, people who don't realize that "any publicity is good publicity".

However, this does not mean that this does not cause me grief in the writing process or that it wouldn't be easier to tell some (ok most) stories if I could use names.

So I have come up with a compromise. Not that I've told them this. I just plan on doing it. It should work fine. I am going to use pseudonyms/aliases for them. Some of them are quite close to the real deal (as I couldn't think of anything better) although most are quite different and I must say for myself, quite amusing!

Allow me to introduce you to the partial potential cast of my stories. First their is my mother "Faye Merman Tierney". Then there is my oldest sister "Loretta Faye Tierney Lockhorn" and her husband, "Larry Lockhorn, Sr." Next comes my other sister "Carol Diane Tierney Sanders" and her husband "Bob Sanders". My only brother "Harry Heath Tierney". My nieces and nephew... first the oldest, my niece "Gene Lockhorn Benjamin" and her husband "Stan Benjamin". Her sister, "Lara Lockhorn Sheppard" and her husband "Trey Sheppard". Their brother "Larry Lockhorn Jr." and his wife "Finn Lockhorn". My niece "Pristine Sanders". Finally, her sister "Helly Sanders Knowles" and her husband "Zee Knowles".

There is off course, my great nieces and nephews too. I'm too tired to add them here now but I will edit them in to this post later. LOL.

As for friends, I don't have that many so I guess I could add a few of them now. First, there is "the friend who can not be named", who some of you may remember from a very early post when I sort of outed her, and her two cats "Daisy" and "Connor". Then there is "Elizabeth Kearns" and her two dogs "Moonbeam" and "Ed" Then there are my male friends "Kevin Lee", the Bradley Cooper lookalike and "Bruno van Village" who I used to work with (but I won't tell you where - at least not yet).

Well, now all that is left is to see if and or when the shit hits the fan. Like I said though, I believe it is all about journalistic integrity and I might add, literary license. LOL.


Vomit and Vagina's

Ooh. The title alliterates. Obviously, this means the following will be a literary masterpiece. LOL.

Today, I am going to use a tip from the No One Cares What You Had For Lunch book on blogging that I talked about reading before. One of the tips was to tell a cringe inducing story. According to the author, the more embarrassing, the better.

Well, here goes. This is, in the interests of a good title, a post of several stories put together. But they all have to do either but not really with both vomit or vaginas.

First the vomit. I just went to my mothers on Good Friday to watch my little great nieces and nephews color Easter eggs. While we were there, two of my great nephews, who shall remain nameless, well, vomitted. Copiously. First the youngest of the two of these nephews did it at the table all over his eggs. He was little enough that he started to cry and ask for his mom and dad who unfortunately were not available. They came with my sister (their grandma).

Then a bit later (not too long actually) the older of the two chucked up his cookies so to speak on the living room carpet (which luckily for my mother is going to be replaced soon by hardwood floor). So what does any of this have to do with vagina's. As I said before, not much. Except that the same vagina produced the little vomitmeisters. LOL.

Apparently, they were both allergic to the peanut butter in the little foil wrapped chocolate peanut butter eggs they ate (they each only ate about 1 or 2!). Seems my mom and I (who both knew about them being peanut butter) forgot about the one boy's allergy (the other nobody knew he was allergic too until then). Good thing it was just a little bit and that they aren't so bad that just the smell or touching of it can lead to breathing problems like some unfortunate kids.

Well, so how does this sad story embarrass me. Well, I told a friend, who must also remain nameless, about this and when I mentioned that the one boy vomitted on the table she reminded me of a rather tasteless episode in my past.

When we both lived at my previous group home along with another mutual friend and one other girl (who was the instigator of this tawdry affair). It all started when we were eating dinner. The girl who caused the ruckus suddenly (as suddenly and without warning as the my two little nephews) vomitted all over her plate of food.

So, how does this reflect badly on me. Well according to the mutual friend of the "friend" (LOL) who reminded me about this (because she might not have been there herself) I continued to eat my dinner. In fairness to me, I did turn my head. LOL.

What my friend actually said to me when I started to tell her the story and had gotten only to the part that he vomitted at the table (but hadn't gotten the chance to say over his Easter eggs and not dinner which she knew was to be served at some point) was "So, did you keep eating?". Impertinent so and so. LOL.

When I pointed out it was over his Easter eggs and then we rehashed the story of my dubious feat of iron stomached wonder she said (about the group home dinner incident) "but you were hungry" in her most sincere voice. She was, of course, mocking me! Bitch. LOL. Then we had a laugh.

That brings us to vagina's. First of all since the title Vomit and Vagina wasn't as good as Vomit and Vagina's I have to tell a somewhat unrelated 1st vagina story. For anyone who has read the Jennifer Love Hewitt's Vagina post from my first month of blogging (Jan 2010) this is somewhat related to that in that this is about a celebrity vagina. Gabourey Sidibe's to be exact.

It seems that in my travels through the blogosphere, I came across a site (that I forgot to make note of which it was sadly) that was making a bit of fun of the extremely zaftig (like myself admittedly) actress from the award-winning film, Precious. It seems that according to this blogger, the victims of both the recent earthquakes in Haiti and Chile are being housed "in the warmth of Gabourey Sidibe's vagina!". Ample it must be indeed. LOL.

Now, we seque into my embarrassing vagina story. It also has to do with a roommate at a group home. This time my current home. But a former roommate who (for obvious reasons) will also be unnamed. It seems that this roommate (this house is an all female one unlike the other house) was having some mental health issues at the time she said this to me. Well, here goes. I am sitting at the kitchen table (again the kitchen table - no vomitting though) ,minding my own business, when said roommate walks past me from the living room into the kitchen on the way to her bedroom and blithely says "I don't like it when you touch my vagina. It doesn't feel nice, you know.". So I talk to another, marginally saner - LOL, roommate who is also no longer here and ask her if I should tell staff what the loopy roommate said.

She is of course of the very concerned and very serious persuasion and tells me definitely I should tell staff. Not looking forward to this rather embarrassing conversation with the quiet, seemingly quite shy "ethnic" staff member I nevertheless go to do exactly that. So I walk up to her, as she is sitting on the couch doing her paperwork, and I tell her what was said to me. When I am done, I expect her to be a little (or a little bit more than a little) shocked and to, of course, write this down in the communications book.

Instead, she floored me with the following one sentence comment to the gist of "Well, did you" (touch her vagina that is). With a perfectly straight face, no less.

At the time, I was appalled that she wasn't taking it seriously. But in retrospect, it was funny.

So there you have it, vomit and vaginas. Now, had I posted this on the 3rd (Saturday) when I was supposed to I would have said - bon appetit for this Easter weekend. LOL.


Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools Day

Hi there. Well today is AFD and I've got nuthin. I didn't spend any time today watching tv. or on the internet so I didn't get zinged myself either. If anyone is still reading my sad little, neglected blog (I hope so) maybe you could post a comment listing the April Fools Day jokes you either played or fell for, whether it was this year or in years past.

As for the day today, I had great plans to get a whole bunch done but you know what "they" say about "the best laid plans of mice and (Car)men." I did meet a friend downtown this afternoon. It's surprising we actually met up as I was running late and she was too (as is usual for her). We both did some banking and I am happy to say I was able to completely pay my bills when I thought I would have make a partial payment on one of the two.

Went to twitter and am being followed by 2 more (organizations mind you! sigh.) Dittoed them. Went to goodreads and I now have 11 followers. Didn't check my email yet to see if Scott (Fazzini) - the blog follower I was talking about yesterday - emailed me back yet (if in fact he does at all).

Well that's about all for now. More (and better!) in two, hopefully.