Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"Schooled" By A Religious Drunk!

Hi again. When it rains it pours. Second time posting today. When I was at the aforementioned (see last post) movies something funny happened on the way home. I thought it deserved it's own post/title.

Katherine and I had just gotten on our second and final bus to head back to mom's place for dinner and were sitting in our pretty much usual places on the bus when they are available. Up front near the driver. Call us Bus Driver Loonies, Greg. LOL

Well, that meant I was sitting in the first seats facing the side and Katherine was sitting in the first front facing seats just behind me. About one or two seats separated us.

I was just starting to tell Katherine what I considered to be a very funny story - which because this story was funny but infuriating at the same time I don't actually remember! LOL.

Anyway, just as I start to tell my now forgotten story a homeless type man gets on. He was a pleasant looking man albeit quite scruffy and carrying a big black plastic bag. Well the pleasant looking younger, darker version of character actor Cecil Kellaway was only pleasant in that one regard.

Immediately after boarding the bus and only seconds into my planned story, this man plunked himself down directly between Katherine and me and started talking to Katherine even though I was clearly already talking to her!

As this was pointly and not the slightest bit just mildly rude but really pretty outrageous (to me anyway) I decided I was not going to stand for it. Just about seething would be an accurate description of my mood.

Nevertheless, I didn't tell him where to go and how to get there. I merely decided not to "give up the floor" to him, so to speak. So I tried to continue talking as if he wasn't even there. A mere pesky little fly if you will. Didn't work.

I tried this numerous times over several minutes (or what seemed like it). As I said it didn't work. Probably because he was directly in between Katherine and myself. It didn't help matters any either that Katherine was actually responding to him. The nerve.

This of course, made me even madder. LOL. At the end of this story though, you will see why I ended up actually being glad that she was paying some attention to him. If she hadn't we might never have known why he did what he did. And it's funny! At least I think so.

So, back to where I left off. I had been trying, without success, for several minutes it seemed to get him to stop interrupting me until I finally snapped. Well, snapped might be a bit of an exageration but I did get snappy at the very least.

I finally stopped trying to talk over him (pointless!) and said to him directly "Do you mind if I finish my conversation with my friend!". And sweet as pie (aargh) he says something like "not at all". As if nothing had happened!

As I said before, the story I told Katherine is now lost to the sands of time (and infuriation!). What happened next, happened after we got off the bus. I confronted Katherine (mildly - as I could concede even in my state that it wasn't that much her fault) about her actually letting that oaf interrupt me.

That brings us to the funny. Seems he told her something like that he was 1) very religious and 2) had just had about 10(!) beers - not sure how the two connected in his mind other than maybe they were just the two biggest things of note about him.

I guess, according to Katherine, these revelations were both followed with "praise the lords" "hallelujahs" "hail mary's" or somesuch. Most of what else he said she said she didn't understand. Probably because of the 10 beers. LOL.

But she did get one last important thing. Apparently, he told her why he planted himself between us and interrupted. It seems it was on purpose.
Being God's little angel he decided upon boarding the bus that we were gossipping. And it was his job to save us from this!

How sweet! How noble! How very big of him! LOL.


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